Getting a triple-stamped criminal record from the NY State was an adventure in convoluted bureaucracy.

This was a comically long process that took around 7 hours of activity spanning a month or so. First I had to get the NYS police to send me a criminal background check - apparently this is easier than getting it from the FBI, but I didn’t even explore the federal route. You can’t ask the police for your criminal record - you have to go to an out-sourced vendor: IdentoGo and make an appointment at your closest finger-printing center. The closest to me was at W35th St - they were professional and got to me right at my appointment time. One set of fingerprints and $62 later - I was ready to wait for the security check.

A few weeks later - I got an envelope with 3 sheets of paper clearly printed directly from a website on normal letter paper. These pages included my photo and some personal information - and then a bunch of blank sections where my nefarious past would have been described. It seemed like a pretty silly piece of paper - anyone with access to MS Word or even a passing understanding of HTML could have easily duplicated it...

The Thursday of that week, I began a journey that spanned 6 hours and took me across lower Manhattan. I headed to the city clerk's office in the grand Justice Plaza where I proceeded to wait in one line to get a notary to stamp the paper to say: "Sasha says this is his criminal record" - then the same notary attached another piece of paper to say: "I'm really a notary." Next I stood in another line to pay for both of these stamps - and despite a relatively wordy and slightly confusing sign describing what payments were accepted they took credit card!

The last step was to pick-up an Apostille - i.e., another official paper that says: "The clerk that confirmed that the notary that confirmed that the Sasha said this document was his criminal record is an official clerk." However, they only accepted bank-checks from U.S. banks, so I had to take a quick side-trip to the conveniently located Citibank. After a quick trip back (short break because I met an old college friend and got to catch-up with Dave for the first time since 2005!). Finally, I waited for another 30 minutes at the Apostille office and was ready to head to the consulate!

It was like a Russian Nesting Doll of Bureaucratic silliness!

For more on my journey to legal residency:

  1. Choose a visa to pursue
  2. Gather documents and sign-up for stuff
  3. Show I’m not a criminal
  4. Submit everything to the consulate, wait, and get my visa
  5. Move to Spain
  6. Get my proof of residence
  7. Get your NIE in theory…
  8. Paying for my NIE
  9. Getting my NIE
  10. Picking up my NIE (done for the year)